Thought Provoking article written by Mahesh Murthy....about life and relationships

So this note is likely to piss off many of you, but still. Can someone tell me why exactly  Jiah Khan's ex-boyfriend is being blamed for her suicide?

So it's the usual story. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, they are happy, then they break up. Then he sees someone else.

At which point over-wrought girl decides her life isn't worth living. Seriously - this is a 25-year old who co-starred with Aamir Khan in a hit film and then later thinks her life is value-less without the continuing attention of some unemployed star-kid?! How the heck was she brought up? What kind of foolish adult mind thinks that someone else's attention is so important that her own life pales in comparison? How dare her parents blame her ex for this ridiculous state of mind? Who gave her these values where "death before losing in love" is a virtue? 

So she writes a latter saying she had an abortion when she got pregnant, presumably by him - again, no one told her about contraception? And even if they decided to forswear protection - it's his fault she got pregnant? Wasn't she equally part of it?

So yes, she had an abortion, she set her mind to have him, but he moved on after they mutually broke up - but she wanted him back, and he said no, so she took her life?

Of course we mourn for her.

But why would we - and the police - blame the idiot star kid who was her ex-boyfriend? I hear it's on the charge of abetting suicide. Really? You mean if two people are together, and one wants to marry the other, and the other refuses, and then the first one commits suicide, then the other has abetted it? What rot. 

So now after seeing this news play out, we have a nation of unstable 25-year olds going around forcing their partners into matrimony at the gunpoint of "do it or I'll commit suicide and you'll go to jail like Aditya Pancholi's son"?

What about it being the other way around? Perhaps more like blackmail - "Marry me, or I'll commit suicide?" And would that not be equally valid a crime?

So what's a guy to do if he doesn't want to marry a girl? Or vice versa actually. Report to the cops when he's been proposed to? Take anticipatory bail before he says "No, I don't want to marry you"? Call the counselling lines so they make outbound calls to the partner in advance of him saying no? Or in this case, even involve a bigger star, Salman Khan, who oversees their apparently amicable separation? And even then go to jail after all these precautionary measures?

Look, there's no escaping the fact that a life lost is a terrible, terrible thing. But blaming the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend for one's lack of motivation to live when a relationship breaks is not the other's fault. It's your own. 

No one grows up with a right to be loved. It's a privilege you earn for yourself. It doesn't come naturally. You earn it. And very often, love comes. And love goes. And love comes back. And goes again. And so on.

And, yes, sorry to break it to you but there is no one-man-one-woman-walking-into-the-sunset-together-forever Mills & Boon bullshit that happens either. If your parents or your convent schools or some M&B you read or a chick flick or a YashRaj or KJo film told you that it is the way and it will happen to you - please understand that those are pretty unreliable sources. For starters, it didn't happen to the authors of such propaganda: the nuns and KJo are still single. The apparent importance of marriage is just propaganda - and you're better off not depending on it. If it happens, cool. And if it doesn't, that should be cool too.

Perhaps the best thing we can do as individuals and parents is tell the kids around that marriage isn't the ultimate goal. It isn't even an intermediate goal. Or even a tiny goal. Screw the TBZ ads and the whitening cream commercials. Ignore Chetan Bhagat and Shaadi.com. Marriage is downright unimportant in the overall course of things. 

In India, you don't need to be married to have a child legally. Or even to inherit and pass on property. Marriage is just a social custom where a bunch of old people shower rice on your head and believe they're giving you their permission (or direction, in some cases) to sleep with someone. As you can imagine, it has little or no legal necessity or significance.

What is important is planning to live a full life for yourself, and working to make all your dreams come true - regardless of whether you have a partner with you for the course. 

Sure, it's more fun when you have a lover around. But not having one around isn't a show-stopper. Life is compulsory. Marriage is an optional extra. Let's tell the kids that.

Oh, and while we're at it, can we please stop blaming that poor Pancholi kid for Jiah Khan's suicide? Let's stop the witch hunt. Get him out of jail. 

And let's stop glorifying suicide in the name of unrequited love.

Friends forever...

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

Why do we need close Friends..?

Honestly Speaking..!
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-To pick us from the airport at 2 am..!
-To kick us at midnight on our birthday..!
-To make fun of our new outfits..!
-To get the latest prints of movies..!
-To call at 3 am just to say goodnight..!
-To listen to us when everyone else is yelling at us..!
-To just walk without any reason..!
-For the endless treats..!
-To irritate us with missed calls when we are sleeping..!

My Dream Team to lead India(Utopian thoughts)

Prime Minister: Narendra Modi

Home Minister: Kiran Bedi

Finance Minister: Manmohan Singh

Rural Affairs: Palagummi Sainath

Telecom: Shyam Pitroda

IT : Narayan Murthy

Foreign Affairs: Shashi Tharoor

Defence: Pranab Mukarjee

HRD,Science and Tech: Nilekani

Railways: Sreedharan(delhi Metro)

Women Welfare: Sushma Swaraj

Agriculture:Dr.Swaminathan

Parliamentary Affairs: Dr.Jayaprakash Narayan

Industries: Rahul Bajaj

Sports: Kapil Dev

Nice article abt Productivity levels in India

The possible alibis for Indian poverty make a long list: Corruption, weather, infrastructure, subsidies, goofy politicians, greedy private sector, sleepy bureaucrats, myopic entrepreneurs, Mughals, British and much else. But an interesting usual omission is agriculture.

I submit that the biggest source of our poverty is 58 percent of our population working on farms that produce 15 percent of our GDP. Our agricultural productivity is dismal—75 million Indians produced 110 million tonnes of milk while 100,000 Americans produced 70 million tonnes of milk—and condemns people to poverty. India will not put poverty in the museum it belongs to till we get farm employment down to 15 percent of our labour force.

Over the next 20 years, effectiveness in four labour market transitions—rural to urban, unorganised to organised, subsistence self-employment to decent wage employment and farm to non-farm— could save 163 million Indians from poverty. But instead of accelerating these four transitions, policymaking in the last few years has been focussing on ‘rights’—education, work, food, service, healthcare, and much else. This ‘Diet Coke’ approach to poverty reduction—the sweetness without the calories—was always dangerous because of unknown side effects.

But now our fiscal deficit, food inflation and rupee devaluation remind us that policy entrepreneurship, like all entrepreneurship, is not exempt from the rule that big ideas without execution are ineffective, inefficient and sometimes dangerous.

Outlays don’t lead to outcomes because poetry is useless without plumbing. Getting people off farms means fixing our weak 3E regime: Employment, education and employability.

India’s failing farm to non-farm transition is the child of a fragmented human capital regulatory regime (state vs. Centre, 19 ministries vs. 2 human capital ministries), the dead-end view of vocational training (the lack of vertical mobility between certificates, diplomas and degrees), a broken apprenticeship regime (we only have 2.5 lakh apprentices relative to 6 million and 10 million in Germany and Japan), lack of higher education footprint (60 percent of our districts have lower enrolment than the national average), no model of effective PPPs (public private partnerships) in human capital (using government money for private delivery in education and skills), dysfunctional employment exchanges (1,200 of them gave 3 lakh jobs to the 4 crore people registered last year) and labour laws that encourage the sub-scale enterprises and the substitution of labour by capital.

Reforming the employment regime is the most obvious, but most controversial. Few disagree about the shame in four employment statistics being exactly where they were in 1991: 92 percent informal employment, 12 percent manufacturing employment, 50 percent self-employment and 58 percent agricultural employment. Economists don’t fully understand how jobs are created or why they cluster where they do. But the broad contours of fertile soil for job creation are obvious: A flexible labour market, skilled employees, robust infrastructure and predictable legislation.

A flexible labour market is important: Most economists agree that our labour law regime is poisonous— particularly for manufacturing. Labour-intensive industries probably account for only 13 percent of gross value add in organised manufacturing. Ninety percent of Indian textile employment is in firms with less than 10 employees while 90 percent of Chinese textile employers have more than 50 employees. India’s labour laws—our employment contracts are marriage without divorce—need a radical rethink if we want more formal, more competitive, more productive and larger employers.

The employability and education reform agenda is facing an idea surplus, but execution deficit. Employment Exchanges need to become public private partnership career centres that offer counselling, assessment, training, apprenticeships and job matching. The Apprenticeship Act of 1961 must be amended to view an apprenticeship as a classroom rather than a job and shift the regulatory world from push (employers under the threat of jail) to pull (make them volunteers).

The National Vocational Educational Qualification Framework must be agreed by the states and the ministries of Labour and HRD as the unifying open architecture tool for recognition of prior learning and vertical mobility between school leavers, certificates, diplomas and degrees.

Delivery systems are in the hands of states and every state must create a skill mission or vocational training corporation tasked with building capacity and quality. States should also create asset banks to make existing government real estate available for skill delivery. All schools must teach English because English is like Windows; an operating system that creates geographic mobility and improves employment outcomes by 300 percent. Finally, we must create skill vouchers that will allow financially disadvantaged students to get trained wherever they want at government expense. Such vouchers would shift the system to funding students. Institutions should be funded by money carved out of the MNREGS (Mahatma Gandhi National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme) budget. The regulatory cholesterol around national distance education (mail order, e-learning and satellite) must be reviewed to offer flexible options for workers already in the workforce and the geographically disadvantaged.

We must create a national network of community colleges offering two-year associate degrees. These community colleges are what rural India needs because they are part ITI, part college, part employment exchange. Our current education regulators have tried to control quality by controlling quantity and we have ended up with neither. The biggest challenge in replacing institutions like the Medical Council of India, the All India Council for Technical Education and the University Grants Commission is not in renaming them, but architecting the new regulator so it does not become the old regulator.

In 1900, 41 percent of Americans worked on farms. Today there are less than 2 percent. China has moved 400 million people into non-farm jobs since Mao died and his madness died with him. India must make a new appointment for her tryst with destiny because she missed her last appointment; there are 300 million Indians who will never read the newspaper that they deliver, sit in the car they clean or send their child to the school they help build. Democracy is a fake alibi for India’s poverty and our labour markets’ ‘missing middle’. Getting people off farms gets India to 5 percent poverty 20 years faster than the status quo. All we need to do is fix our 3Es.

India must make a new appointment for her tryst with destiny because she missed her last appointment

SAM PITRODA...the visionary

How do you compare social innovation in India with that in developed nations?

The problem is the best brains globally are busy solving the problems of the rich who really don't have problems. And problems of the poor don't really get the attention they deserve. Most modern innovations that have taken place over the last 50 to 60 years have come only out of the US. Now, all US innovations focus on the top of the pyramid and they are primarily from areas such as biotech, genetics or laser technology.

Inherently they are expensive. A few days back, I was told that 60 million people in India have liver ailments. The number is higher than those battling AIDS. But AIDS gets more money and attention because it is a rich man's disease. Look at all the global institutions in the world - the United Nations, the World Bank or the IMF. All these institutions were set up by America for America after the Second World War. We need institutions for tomorrow. That's where innovation comes in.

What's been the most important change since the telecom revolution?

A very important thing has happened over the last 20 years. It is the invention of the Internet. I would say nothing like this has happened in last 15,000 years, It is as big as the invention of languages.

Do you support the idea of controlling the internet? Are we going the China way?

Nobody can control the Internet. It is impossible. We cannot go the China way. Even China is not going the 'China way'. It is finding it difficult controlling the Net. The problem crops up because the older generation wants to impose its values on the younger generation. I always tell the youth not to listen to the stifling values of the old. If someone wants to want some content, who are we to control him or her. Instead, India should have its own locally relevant social networks.

Can the unique identity project be the basis of all financial inclusion programmes?

I was born in 1942 in a small little village, Titlagarh in Odisha. There were no doctors, no pharmacies, no running water, no electricity. Who is going to give you a birth certificate there? When I went to the school, I was told I was too young and I had to submit an affidavit. People are always quick to criticise.

If you have 1.2 billion people and want to build a 21st Century infrastructure, you need to build robust information systems. When you begin to organise databases of people, you realise the importance of Aadhaar.

Last year, about 7,50,000 people were released from Indian prisons. Many of them were undertrials without any identity. Aadhaar will give them an identity and allow them to say you better recognise me

True...Lies

Life have never promised u anything nor have god.,But people did,.
Some said they will never leave u : lie..
Some said they will luv u till death :lie..
Some said u are the most precious thing in their lyf :lie..
Life is made of such sweet lies..!
In the end all that matters is how u faced the time when u finally realized those were just lies ..V may ask.."wouldnt lyf be much better if these lies were never told?"
But the fact ,is that the times u lived on those big lies were the best times of ur life..!!

Random thoughts...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back............ :) :0 keeppp smiling...

Being 23-28

23-28 is not a nice age. Our ex-gfs/ bfs are getting married, our career has just started, Elders treat us as unproven theorems, college guys feel that we are too old to have in their group. We can no longer eat whatever we wish without putting on weight. Every Aunty we meet asks “When are you getting married!!” whils......t uncles ask “What are you doing with your career?” When the reality is that ...we are just riding the wave and going with the flow. We are stranger to people whom we consider family, we have all the confidence in the world but little achievements to show. We already have the first hand experience of the life, we know that whatever we have been taught about the world in school has been a sheer waste of time. We now know, love is not that blind and that friendship has its terms and conditions, we know there is nothing for granted and free lunches are not free. Our overconfidence is now making way for a humble conscience. We now know it is not exactly what we thought it would be...!! BUT STILL LIFE ROCKS!!! CHEERS TO LIFE...!! :-) Never Postpone Joy.....!!

Really funny description of Ramayana......(just a gag)...

A young second generation Indian-origin boy in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something.... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so..... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man.....they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok....

So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood.... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home.... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home...they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also....so it was pretty cooool.... you know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding..., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."

The mother fainted..

Lessons of life---Compiled online

He is 58 years old, bespectacled with distinguished silver grey hair. He’s spent 25 years working for one of India’s most respected corporate houses. I have learnt a lot from him. But it is unlikely you would have ever heard of him. His name is Karunan. And he worked with me as my driver.

Sometimes, the biggest lessons in life come from very unlikely sources. And as Karunan spoke to me one morning about his life and times, I thought young people would benefit from listening to what he has to say. Since Karunan will probably never be invited to deliver a convocation speech or a commencement address at a college, I decided to share those lessons with you. Here goes:

1. Getting a driving license does not make you a driver. “I was 18 when I got my license. But it was only after several months of driving a car that I actually learnt to drive, and became a real driver.” A license is only a permit – and not a stamp of authority. An MBA does not make you a manager. It is only after you spend several more years learning on the job that you truly qualify to call yourself a manager.

Many young people confuse getting a degree as signifying the end of their learning. Wrong. It’s just the beginning. A degree or a diploma – the licence – simply marks you out as someone qualified to learn from real life experiences. It doesn’t make you an expert.

2. The real world is very different from a classroom. “I learnt to drive a car. But my first job required me to drive a little tempo. The steering wheel was different, and so were the gears. I thought I knew how to drive – but I couldn’t even get the tempo started.” The world outside the classroom is a very different place. That’s as true for engineers and MBAs and accountants as it is for drivers. Get ready to get surprised.

3. Slog. Get your hands dirty. “I spent nights working as a cleaner. That’s when I learnt all about the insides of an automobile. Knowing what’s under the bonnet has made me a better driver today.” The brightest marketing professionals in the country will tell you that they learnt their biggest lessons in the days they spent slogging in small towns selling soaps or colas. There’s no other way. If you want to be successful, work hard, dirty your hands – and go beyond your specific role.

4. Initially, what you learn is more important than what you earn. “In my first job, the pay was bad but the boss was good. He gave me opportunities to learn, make mistakes. I banged his tempo quite a bit. While the dents were quickly repaired, the lessons I learnt remain firmly etched in my mind.” In your first job – don’t worry about pay packet or the size of the organisation. Get a good boss. A good mentor. That’s priceless.

5. Don’t worry about which car you drive. Focus on being a good driver. “I always wanted to drive the best cars – but rather than complain about having to drive a tempo or a school van or the city transport bus, I focused on driving well. I told myself that if I do that, the good cars will come. And they did.” Now that’s a great lesson. It’s not about the company. It’s about you. Do the best with what you have, wherever you are. Karunan spent 15 years struggling in odd jobs before landing a driver’s job in one of India’s largest companies. We could all benefit by staying focused on doing a great job – rather than worrying about the next job, or the next promotion. Do a good job. Success and happiness will follow. Inevitably.

Those then are five fabulous life lessons from an unlikely guru. Follow Karunan’s advice and I guarantee they’ll make a difference to your career. And to your life!

Prakash Iyer is MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach.

Poignant...thought provoking story...compiled frm FB

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Musings....

Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you surprise you or disappoint you, but they can not prevent you from moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation is you can always do something...

On every turn of life you will always have a choice and that choice is power within you....after all a bend in the road is not the end of it until and unless you fail to make a turn.....

My 25 year Journey

As we grow older, our emotions seem to get the better of us. Perspectives change and relationships only get more complicated. Yes note, I say relationships, not people. Because, as a friend rightly said, we are born simple, but circumstances complicate us. To commemorate the quarter life syndrome people go through few lines on my behalf

To,

All the people I met and those I befriended

All the memories that were lived and which will remain and kill

All the ideas which clicked and those which were mocked

All the places I traveled and those thoroughly explored

All the movies I watched and those which subconsciously recorded

All the cups of coffee I consumed and liquids for which my mind tuned

All the cricket matches watched and those keenly analyzed

All the songs that I heard by chance and to which I danced

All the personalities who inspired and hearts like mine which aspired

All the books which I understood and which I thought I could

All the jokes that perfectly tickled and which drastically toppled

All the money that was earned and those which pops earned

All the impulsive negativity vented out and those humbly conquered

All the good life tasted and precious time wasted

All the experiences worth recounting and that deserve reliving.

To my parents.

All my friends, cousins, relatives and teachers

Thanks a lot, for being a part of this 25 year journey.

My life would have been incomplete had it not been for you.

With you around, life was beautiful and will remain indeed!

10/10/10 at 10:10:10 PM

An awesome day in my life that would be etched in the deeper subconscious of my mind for a long long time to come...

Hitherto I am talking about the amazing birthday which had all the elements of fun, excitement, surprises, pain, joy n everything it needs...

It kick started with my best friend's call from India at 12:01AM India Time.....Though we talk very seldom I am really amazed to receive the first call from him (no matter which part of the world I reside) for years now.....talking to your best friend close to heart makes a great beginning to your day...

My Binary bday(10-10-10) started off in a movie theater....it was a Mahesh babu movie after 5 long years....then had this crazy idea of cutting the cake in a place where I can live in two places at a time(inspired by 'OYE' movie and "A walk to remember" movie)....I call it crazy for many reasons...people believed it to be craziest idea and came to a conclusion that I have gone nuts ...but this was long anticipated day I awaited to make it memorable to myself atleast ..so finally had to travel(2 hrs drive) to the borders of Kansas and Missouri state I had to cut the cake.... I wish I had many friends with me that moment....but nevertheless all their best wishes on me made up for their physical absence....

Next in the agenda was a visit to Casino...but somehow my poor soul had little choice but be contended with a chicken biryani....had a cat nap as they call it for 2 to 3 hours.....

Next in the agenda is a visit to temple....It was one of those Duseehra navaratri days and the temple was full with devotees...a serene feeling to see so many people in a hindu temple in a foreign land....no matter how far might we travel we take our core characteristics with us.....

Now comes the chase of a police/cop for speeding my vehicle on my way return home......I had my heart in my mouth for ten terrific minutes when he chased down my car(bcos deep down my heart I knew I was at a much higher speed than permitted)...I was staring down a deep trouble of receiving a first penalty speeding ticket in my lifetime when the cop put on the lights on his vehicle....fortunately I did not get a ticket.....I dunno whether he had little proof of my speeding or was he in a jovial mood or anything ...god forbid a mishap and I was out of shambles ..

Now comes the real part of fun with friends......the surprise they gave me today will live with me till my last birthday... cake cutting on 10/10/10 at 10:10:10 PM at my home with friends around what an idea sir ji......the way they implemented it was awesome....great to see so many people on the occasion.....thanks to all my roomies and dear friends from our apartments to shower lot of love...thats the reason I love my friends wholeheartedly though I don't seem so outward.

It had all the twists and turns to remember it for a lifetime...for every reason and for every silly thing I did and experienced....

Bday Quotes

On the eve of my bygone bday....i had to post this interesting analysis of people's take on bday's

Bday means different things to different people....this is how people perceive bday's

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam: "The only day in your life, when you cried and your Mother was smiling.."

Ram Gopal Varma: "Just that your parents made love you are here on this earth...so no big deal"

Randomness...

The moment when you left your home for the first time and you look

back at your parents who are worried that their son is

leaving them yet happy that their child took the first step towards

independence



... the moment when the girl you like most.. smiled back at you!

You don't say anything.. you just smile back..



... the moment when you get better marks than you expected... those

"numb" moments of ecstasy n surprise "is that true?"...



... the moment when you are parting with your old friend(s) and the

train has just started... and you are standing on the door of the

wagon.. waving "bye-bye" with your heart beating fast...



... the moment after the HR manager has just called you and told

you, "You are through! Congrats!"



... the moment when you sit alone in your room after having told

everyone that you cleared that exam you prepared for 6 months!!



You can go on remembering your "special" moments!



I had always wondered why I never said anything to myself at those

moments.. as if it was "understood" ... happiness, joy, pain.. all

feelings just flowed ceaselessly in the 'years' that passed in those

flash moments!

;

They say.. the best way to communicate is through "silence".

Love. Joy. Grief. Surprise. Anger. Hope. Expectations. Support.

Non-cooperation. ..

It has been a while....random thoughts

Semesters keep flying by .....and by the time i realize i haven't done anything in life i might complete my masters....so many changes to my life outward but could not change my core characteristics,somehow i remain da same inward....i understand money makes many things but could not comprehend the extent to which it changes lives and lifestyles.....somehow very very random thoughts of a disturbed mind.

My work "Experience" at Cognizant tech.....

It all started on 7/7/7 for the first time when I entered the Cognizant's Orion building in Hyderabad. I felt the same way a child goes to a play school for the first time, having thousands of apprehensions in mind, confused, shy, excited, curious,Waiting to make new friends. Every one was new (including Bunny my college mate). First day was mostly fun, We were asked to sign on a bunch of papers, played couple of games and finally went to medical examination at care hospital srinagar colony still remeber it was a cloudy day.


For the next one week we were in Pioneer building, outstanding from outside but.... Soft skills by Babu Gogineni was fun, still the skillguru.com stuff pops up in my mind once in a while, especially the skit part where in we saw many great actors in our batch :). My skit along with a girl was hilarious to the core. I still recall the portrayal my funny innocent face before exploding to laughter in the skit. Then we were required to report in E-Park for the rest of training( I never imagined that my life in Cognizant would come to end in E-Park!!!).


Training was awesome. Enjoyed most of it. I was a "corner most back bencher" the most distant student from the instructor through out the training period with varma beside me :). By the time we finished the first part of training (SQL Server by Baba RamDev - I wished that my Engg. classes were like that :)) I had many good friends from the batch. Further classes by Madhavi on C# were noteworthy. She gave enough gyan to be rebels when ever possible and play out in the corporate world to work our way up:). Later ASP.NET, C#, ADO.NET and VB by Anand were so sleepy, though he was an amazing talent.UML classes by Aparna were fun while Health care CCP classes by Ali were exciting and boring (back benchers might know why they are exciting ;-)).

First B'day treat by Dr. is a day to remember :). Dutch treat at Barista was awesome full of youthful energy.Everybody pulling each others legs. By this time most of my batch mates were really close friends to me. Teased lot of ppl for lot of things;-). Writing exit tests and managing to clear all of them with 'lot of difficulty':P. In mean time our I had to encounter an ordeal in the form of "My First Real Project" as the name indicates it was first time my brain began functioning about something useful after all those crappy engineering projects :(.


MFRP: Teams were divided based on students from various colleges :P so Bunny, Praveen, Nikhil and varma planned to be in a single team so that they could have a blast.... but things never happened according to plan :( ...

That was the plight of ppl delaying decisions abt deciding their teammates. I dealt it in a different way.My teammates being Rao garu(Venkat)-The coder,Sandy, divya n me. Everybody knew how it went even including my manager. I would never interfere when somebody wants to learn.I kept myself as distant as possible from the coding and learning process. Thus 90% of the burden was carried by Rao garu n divya.But I gave a good final presentation in front of other managers and it seemed like I pulled all my team mates from front rather i stayed back all time pushing from rear.

MFRP was exciting. worked hardly and got chance to meet our future teammates and leads :). Some were cool :) while some were unexciting :(. Some how managed to finished training and then we were hand picked into various teams by various managers.


Training was like honeymoon period:)..wid lots of money at disposal(by those standards) n very few responsibilities everythng seemed rosy.. . had lot of work to do but lacked motivation:). Post training were the most significant days of my life as I, Nikhil, Hari n the DR.(dhoolraj) were picked by karim for an exciting project. Though project seemd exciting I was never mentally ready till then as I dozed off the whole time during training and MFRP project.Suddenly into project, we had a small breifing from karim. Though generic in nature I still remember his golden words n keep recollecting them once in a while as he seemed a mentor more than a manager.

All new beeies with experienced Hari as our lead, the journey of PMG metrics project began. We started right from the scratch and for the first time in life i felt burden of coding all by myself. Till then I either had spoonfeeding frm faculty/trainers or managed stealing someones code since my engineering days. Somehow there too luckily our module was relatively an easy one(for the reason we could google out the code). Majority of our project was carried out by all other 3 mates.By this time I postponed my fanciful idea of preparing for CAT entrance by one year. Finally it gave satisfaction that we could develop something ppl could recognize n an useful tool for client saving lot of money. Even here my learning was the minimal compared to other teammates(I dunno whether they agree..). Problem was that I was accustomed to understanding everything and follow rather than create and code it.But still I feel this is the only project in my life I felt I was involved significantly. The status of "working hardly" in training slowly trantitioned to "work hard".

I still remember my 1st interview to get into new project. Only me and Harikrishna was interviwed by sunanda(teamlead). I and everybody in our batch knew the secret that 75% of our 1st project was done by this guy called harikrishna. Fortunately or unfortunately my "would be" teamlead n manager dint know it. I rated myself 4/5 in ASP.NET when asked for self assessment in the interview without even knowing how to open a project in visual studio whereas the other guy who had decent coding skills and ASP.NET knowledge rated himself with 2.5/5. May be my persuasive skills got me into a that project outpowering harikrishna.

A new saga begins with TRS-OM, Planview, Prompt projects. Made lot of new friends all senior to me in terms of experience. though most of them were cool, always had that age gap as a barrier to move close to them.one guy frm chennai,one frm minneapolis, one frm hartford and team lead n I from hyd. Daily had calls with clients and keeping track of different timezones in itself was a herculean task.

By this time some of my batch mates were getting married and some went ahead to pursue their higher education. Meanwhile I made some very good friends in the office. Had good time organizing various fun events :):P.


Taking Longest possible breaks, heavy lunch with batch mates,Long chain of timepass e-mails TT games with lot of combinations:P) ,trip to pragathi resorts, visiting batchmates homes on weekends, gulli cricket, birthday bashes,independence day celebrations,bay decoration contests, CAT fun competition, trips to temples, mass bunking office to watch "Happy days" movie with 8 members in small swift car, avoiding a movie disaster called "Athidhi" .donno how time passed by...it just flew by :).




I would be missing a lot..... teasing many friends for many things...especially the girls who were getting ready to marriage n stufff...it was a awesome time...

Fun apart time comes to think seriously about my lyf and I had to choose the path of MBA preparation and wholeheartedly quit the company for my future goals

As rightly said by my friend "The pain is not on the day of missing your loved ones... The real pain is when u live each day with out them but with their presence in mind and heart..."


Sorry to my friends whom I have hurt knowingly or unknowingly :(. I miss u guys!!! I miss u a lot :(.

This is not an end but a new beginning... I will miss my friends in Cogni but will definitely take time to keep in touch with all of them... :)

places n stuff of my life.....

Ohri's, Universal bakers, Greenwoods, Pellaina Kotthalo, Desamuduru, Dubai seenu, Shivaji, Bommarillu, AMAV, Shashi rekha parinayam, Treasure island, Golconda resorts, Pragathi resorts, VCE, Chilkur balaji temple, Birla mandir, visu, lotus temple,Megha theatre, shanthi theatre, pratap theatre, Manhattan, Eshwar theatre, Adlabs, Shalini theatre, quliqutub sahi tombs, comfort suites, econolodge, nagole license, care hospital, pn. nagar, Kansas city, nanalnagar, anupama hotel, haveli restaurant, likhitha, onemorenagar, sairam hospital, taramati baradari, begumpet airport, eatstreet,tankbund,sitara hotel,...